Bruh, why are you so needy?

There are 2 people in my life who need to just make an exit.
Ones a guy, ones a girl and they are both just love to harass my life.

The Guy

This dude thinks he's my boyfriend. Seriously were just friends and he gets all protective, and insecure if I'm hanging out with my other friends which are also guys! I have 5 male friends including him, they don't all know each other, but THIS guy thinks that if I'm spending time with them were doing things couples would do.

It's like playing 21 questions, but it's one sided because I feel like I'm under attack. What you doing? I bet your doing things.. He tries to turn these questions and stupid remarks into jokes, using emojis and I'm just like woah, hold on;

1) Were not going out, therefore you don't need to be questioning my life
2) Why you trying to make me sound like some sort of hussie?
3) Why does it matter to you if I have male friends or not, even if we were in a relationship I'm still going to be hanging out with these people
3) Just stop talking to me

But the thing that gets me with him is, he knows I'm mad and then the next day he'll message me and be like Morning :) ..
...
......

Don't Message Me Like Were Cool and I've Forgotten Your Crayness

He has some serious insecurity issues and I swear to God I'm on the verge of just cutting him off, like just leave me alone, I'M STUDYING FOR MY DEGREE I DON'T NEED THIS ISSH.

The Girl 

Now this girl is just plain rude and clingy. She's one of those people you just regret being nice too and makes you wish never even had a conversation, EVER.

She will you text asking questions for help and stuff but not turn up for lectures. Like this girl doesn't be even bother to get up in the morning to attend lectures, but has the cheek to text me and be like "Can you help me", " Can you send me your work/notes".

What makes you think I should help you, it's your education your studying for not mine. Girl please, ninja pleaseeeee. 

To make it worse though I'm not even lying, she will text you, you will text her back and she has the nerve, the AUDACITY to not reply. Never does this girl reply with a thanks, thank you, ok, fullstop, nothing just plain ol' nothing.

Clearly she thinks I'm her lap dog or some form of a slave to her, so in order to correct her thinking I no longer reply to her texts. This girl has the cheek to come in the next day and be like "So I sent you a text and you didn't reply"...

Oh what so because I didn't reply it's an issue? Listen here tweedle dumb:

I'M STUDYING THE SAME DEGREE AS YOU, I DONT NEED THIS ISSH EITHER.

Girl Bye

I'm seeing my first client on my own :D

Guys, it feels so long since I've spoken to you!

But it doesn't matter because your girl has officially secured her own client! Woop Woop

I have been training and finally I have been allocated a client :D

OMG the clients life is in my hands...
I could ruin their life in 0.2 seconds.... Please pray for me!

But on the other hand I got my braces tightened and my mouth feels like someone is constantly yanking out my teeth. The pain is unreal and I feel like just ripping them off myself. 
Seriously the amount of time I spend contemplating whether I should remove my braces is unreal.

Other than that I just be chillin', praying for a flat night in. Pass the wine wooo

Where Is My Head At?

It's just been one of those days where I'm just lost!

I just found out I have an essay due in 2 weeks and it's just not registering in mind.

I'm just flustered and have no sense of direction.

I keep rewriting plans, and trying to simplify everything but it's getting me nowhere, its a constant cycle of nothing.

WHY CAN'T SOMEONE DO THE WORK FOR ME 

Music isn't helping, I'm trying to talk to people but its only a temporary fix. What happens when my friends have gone to bed, and my music has stopped? My mental torture is just going to continue.

This is pressure, and stress and craziness all in one.

Someone pass the courvoisier, coz this ninja needs to jump 

One day I will slap this girl and feel NO type of way

So let me give you a little history lesson... 
From 2013 til present,

I be chilling in my lectures and all I can hear is "YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP".

For a second I honestly had to check my phone to see if my music was still playing but no, it's the worlds most loud mouthed girl chatting away to her and her 'followers'.

Every single lecture we have they just talk and talk and talk and talk and talk, I honestly don't know what else they have left to talk about because everytime I see them they are talking!

Don't you ever get tired of talking? 

To add to this constant pain both of my lecturers just let it happen -_- They actually watch them talk,  then talk over them and continue what they have to say.... It feels like some mean girls ish and I can't deal. 

Like I honestly sit there thinking to myself, weren't all four of you taught in primary school to not speak when the teacher is talking. I know that makes me sound like a goody two shoes but C'MON thats just plain rude, have some manners. 

At this moment in time I don't care about your dog, or your kid, or that you went through a rough patch with your man, or where your mum works, or your job, or where your going on holiday, or about how far away you parked your car, or when your going to bleach your hair. 

I DO NOT CARE

As of right now I don't even care for your lives 

But your all probably wondering why I want to slap up this girl. Well this girl thinks shes it, she thinks because she was a teen mum, and has a child she knows everything, like shes the oracle of life or something. 

I have been listening to this girl go on and on and on for a year and, it's just built up unnecessary stress in my life.

So on this beautiful day, we were talking about our placements and whaddya know, were at the same organisation but working in different departments. My placement is the organisation as hers but mine has a different name and it has the word 'Project' in it. Please people remember the keyword; 'Project'. 

So in a line, one by one we were sharing which organisation we were working for and this is how it all went down:

Me: "I'm with .... Project

The Lecturer:  "oh ok Amber you and this girl are at similar places, thats useful"

Next thing I hear is

The girl: "NO HERS IS A PROJECT". 

The Lecturer:"Ok but its the same thing"

The girl:"NO BUT HERS IS A PROJECT"

The Lecturer: "Ok moving on"

My face: 

I don't know if you guys have the same feelings but it was definitely one of those, 'You had to be there moments'. I was in shock, I just stared at her, like you know when your so in shock you just don't know what to say. It was just so catty and childish like she was trying to undermine my placement which is the SAME AS HERS!!!

After the whole thing this girl decided she wanted to strike again. We were basically being told they are changing our degree's name, and for it to be changed for our year we all needed to sign it. If one of us doesnt sign to have the name of the course changed, then the name will be remain how it is. 

So at first I was all for it and then all I hear is "I  DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS WE ARE CHANGING THIS NAME BLAH BLAH BLAH". I was honestly just sitting there thinking who does this heffa think she is. 

I just wanted to slap her so hard to the point where my hand gets a tingling sensation from the force put into her face. 

But it's one of those times where I have to wait for the perfect moment to shame her, because if I went all types of crazy on her it would look like I'm the bully and she's the victim and she ain't gon play that role. So I be waiting!

Plus my lecturers already think I've got attitude and she's their favourite, so all in good time.

How To Get My Curvacious Heatless Curls

This is the first time I have ever worn my hair with curls EVER, and I have to say I am very much impressed with myself for actually being able to do this, and make it look guurrd!

So if you've read my previous blogs I've probably mentioned my hair needs a perm somewhere, and it still does, so I think this is the perfect hairstyle for when your hair is thick. 

So in order to get this fab hairstyle I used NO HEAT, NO CURLERS, NO NOTHING, well except bobby pins but that's it!!

I sectioned my hair into 5 parts and on each part of my hair I smothered it in coconut hair milk until it was extremely moist and TIGHTLY rolled the end of my hair around my fingers and then into my head and pinned it down with bobby pins.

Tip: I used coconut hair milk because this is my regular daily moisturiser and it isn't heavy or sticky on my hair. You can substitute this for you daily hair lotion/oil.

I repeated that step for the rest of my hair and then tied it down with a headscarf to keep it neat and intact and then I fell asleep for about 2-3 hours.

Tip: The reason as to why I smothered my hair in coconut hair milk is because the headscarf is going to suck up all the moisture in my hair. So when I take off my headscarf my hair is going to be perfectly hydrated and look as natural as possible.

So an hour before I was suppose to start getting ready to go out I apprehensively took out a section of my hair to see if I was going to like the outcome. When I unpinned my hair it was seriously curly, like if you pulled my hair all the way down and let go it would spring back up and reform the curl. I wasn't too sure if I was going to like this look, but I had no choice but to continue, so I bobby pinned it back up and tied my hair down.

The time had come to do my hair and when I took out all the pins, and brushed my hair through with my fingers I looked like a crazy woman, so I used my wide tooth comb to gently comb through my hair so the curls weren't lost and this was the outcome.

To complete my look I took a small section from each side of my head and bobby pinned it down to the middle section of the back of my head and arranged the curls until I liked it.

The Chic Halloween Outfit and the RANT

Hey Dreamers,

So here is my chic outfit for Halloween:

So these are my cheeky purchases I bought during the student discount night on freshers week woop woop.

I am wearing a black sleeveless bodycon dress from HM underneath River Island's Dark Purple Textured Skater Skirt, with matte black tights.

My outfit is then covered by a black Waterfall Leather Cardigan which is also from River Island.

I believe my rings and necklace are all from HM which I wore with simple gold studs.

To complete my outfit I teamed it with these Chunky Chelsea Boots and Gold Watch both from River Island.










The Rant:

So we all know it was Halloween last night and boy was it  a crazy night. Four of us went out, and neither of us had ever been to this club before. Anyway long story short I was told during my lecture that if I'm going to this club I should get there early because of the queue. Told the people I was going out with. Their response was "oh no no no lets leave later blah blah blah". By that time I was pissed and was like you know what cool, watch and see. So we leave later and the queue was HORRENDOUS!! WE QUEUED FOR 1 HOUR AND A FLIPPING HALF!!! I was so mad, the worst thing was the line for the queue jump had over 100 people I'm not even lying. So we just watched all these people roll on by, passing us into in the club. AND THEN after an HOUR AND A HALF we got in and Oh My God it was so hot, like I was constantly sweating it was disgusting all my nice curls were limp and lifeless. All my hard work was gone - no one there to appreciate it :(

Actually I'm lying I got hit on 4 times and my flatmate thought I looked beautiful so it wasn't that bad :)

Am I A Third Wheel Though?

Just like the title says Am I A Third Wheel??

So a few weeks back one of my flatmates invited another flatmate and I to their concert.

So of course I was excited and happy they wanted me to watch their work.

However, the week before the flatmate I was suppose to be going with says to me "By the way I'm bringing ...". So obviously I was like OK but is that going to be awkward because if your going to get all lovey dovey I will leave.

So the night of the concert ... came over and we were like hi, what you studying blah blah blah. That was fine but it was semi awkward coz it was clear that I was the +1 when really ... was, but my flatmate swears blind that we all looked like friends..... yeah right!

But before all of this when this same flatmate and I first moved in and getting to know each other we were like we are deffo going out for Halloween. Since that day I have been over excited because I've never been out on the night of Halloween etc. Anyway later on through the weeks, my flatmate was like "Oh by the way (her favourite phrase) one of my family members are coming down that week to go out with us". That I was cool with, so I'm thinking more girls yasssss. The week before Halloween my flatmate then said "Oh yeah and ... is coming Friday too).

....

.......

......................

I don't know why but that makes me feel very weird. I feel like I'm the +1 even though it's a group because I'm really the outsider if you think about it. My flatmate has their family member, and ... and then there's just me. So I feel kind of weird. I'm not sure if I'm suppose to feel weird.

So now were all going out.

If I feel weird I will straight up leave, but if I like the music I will dance with myself. My flatemate is lucky they are the only ones going out in this whole flat otherwise I would be goneeee!

Am I starting University Over Again?

So I have 5 Assessments to prepare for....

3 due in before Christmas and 2 after Christmas :(

Right now I honestly feel lost. I've had six months off and coming back to write these essays makes me feel like I'm just coming from my A Levels into Uni.

I just don't know where to start, and I have even less motivation than I did when I started the degree. I think the pressure of needing to get REALLY good grades for my second year is mentally shutting me down.

I feel like I'm in this constant cycle of doing nothing. Like world issues don't interest me, conversations with people don't interest with me, literally nothing interests me nowadays. I just want to hang out and have fun with endless money, with no responsibilities.

Although I do feel like everyone around me is doing much better than me. Like my bestie is getting all these great opportunities, and I just feel like crap. I can't lie I'm seriously jealous of her motivation and determination to achieve the best out of her time at Uni, but jheeeze I just feel like I'm useless.

As for this work I'm about to start, Lord please help me. Someone help me.....

@YouTube adverts annoy me!

I cannot stand adverts that stop me from watching my YouTube videos.

I do not log on to YouTube to watch minutes worth of adverts, and to make it worse there is an increasing amount of adverts that do not give me the skip option. What is that about?

Now lets get real, I love Zoella BUT her adverts on YouTube annoy me sooooo much I want to slap myself! "Hi it's Zoella..." "Hi guys I'm going to hide behind my pillow..." Honestly, right now I could care less.

I'm tryna catch up on my Timothy Delaghetto vlogs coz I've been busy and every single video I click on I hear "For a new feeling of cleanliness Gerberit Aqua clean. WC that cleans you with water..."... WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?!?

Is it me or when your waiting impatiently that these stupid adverts are the longest thing ever in life right now. The mute button is gradually becoming my new best friend because I just cant deal. It's the only thing YouTube seems to be doing right, right now!

Now I love music, and for some strange reason I stayed up til 3 listening to old skool r&b, garage, a little bit of Oasis, some Daniel Bedingfield, So Solid Crew, Aaliyah, basically all the music I grew up listening to and my hard work and dedication was persistently interrupted by "For a new feeling of cleanliness..."

Honestly YouTube needs to consult the companies they give permission to, because for me it is soo useless. I don't care about 'Fanta Zombie' or the new movie 'Horns'. How many stinking times am I going to re-watch these adverts over and over and over again!

How many of you enjoy making playlists on YouTube and enjoy playing it out loud? Well before YouTube was ambushed by REPEATED adverts I used to love doing that. Now I don't even bother!

How many of you does this happen to? Honestly comment below and let me know;

You are enjoying your playlists, choon after choon is playing and then the next thing you here is "Hi It's Zoella...". Now for a second I had to stop and think whether that was a song, because if it was I knew that wouldn't be in my playlist, until you check and realise it's an irrelevant advert to your life right now as YOUR TRYING TO LISTEN TO YOUR MUSIC!

If I had a pound, not a penny but a POUND every time I was/am forced to watch one of these stupid adverts I would be so rich right now. Actually I would pay YouTube to stop with these adverts when I'm tryna have some ME TIME!
(Check it out, it's funny, it's MADEA)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKGdRgV66R0

If your reading this YouTube you need to fix up! It's not cute anymore! I'm slowly beginning to hate you....

Don't you just hate it when people forget about plans THEY made with you?!? KMT

Hey Dreamers,

I'm just so annoyed right now! Like why is it when you make plans with people they seem to forget? I made plans with my flatmate, we didn't specify a time but it was basically like "knock on my door at ANYTIME" Notice the word anytime is in capitals. 

So because my flatmate said ANYTIME I knocked on their door mid afternoon. I was basically standing at the door like... (you only need to for watch 10 seconds lol)

Which then after 2 minutes of waiting for a response it turned into... (only watch for 6 seconds)

After that I was just pissed off.

SO I checked my inbox from my flatmate just to make sure he didn't send me a text saying he wasn't going to be home, so we have to change our plans... *checks phone* Nope no text message for today!

So I text my flatmate and the reply I got was "Im at the gym :l"

Why the hell are you at the GYM when we had PLANS?!? 

This really bugged me, to be honest when people forget about or cancel our plans at the last minute that ticks me off!! 

So the moral of the story is; Make sure you have a back up, a Plan B just in case people forget about your plans. Getting me all excited and ting KMT!!

Do that to me again and watch!

How I Been Feeling

Hey Dreamers

Honestly today I feel sooo anti-social, like I just don't care. So in order to express myself here are a few pictures of what I'm thinking/feeling.

Comment below if you ever get like this!

@latoyaforever - LaToya's Life come back to me pleaseee

Hey Dreamers, just a quick question. How many of you Hunty's are LaToyaForever fans?
Because I am such a huge fan of hers.

If you are reading this LaToya, Congrats on baby Samia!

I watched your whole journey Hunttttty, OKAYY

I honestly think I'm her soul mate, like honestly I think she's hilariously crazy but I have an issue. I selfishly want her to vlog her life being a mum to Samia. I know she's a new mum and needs a break but damn I'm experiencing withdrawal symptoms!

It's only been 7 days since her labour and delivery vlog (exactly... I counted...) and I feel lost.

If anyone else feels like this please leave a comment, because I need to know I'm not the only crazy one.

Actually, you know what this feels like? It feels like when your favourite TV show is cancelled, or your waiting for the new series to come back and your really eager, and your mad because you can't watch it right now? Well that's how I FEEL!

So along with waiting for LaToya's Life season 2 I am impatiently waiting for;

1. Game of Thrones (I love Kit Harington, oh God what a sexy man) 
   
2. Devious Maids (I only like Rosie and Carmen)
3. Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 7 ( I love me some Nene and Kandi! I wonder what the newbie is gonna be like, hmmm...)
4. Real Housewives of New York Season 7 (ONLY because I love Bethenny!  RHONY was nothing without her!! Jill Zarin feel free to come back too boo! Andy Cohen you need to fix this!)

HELL I'M WAITING TO FIND OUT WHO KILLED LUCY IN EASTENDERS

It's driving me crazy! But you know what, I suppose it isn't that bad because at least LaToya is coming back unlike;

1. Friends
2. Charmed
3. Desperate Housewives 
4. One on One 
5. EVE
6. My Wife and Kids 
7. Fresh Prince of Bel - Air (R.I.P Uncle Phil)
8. All of Us
9. That So Raven
10. Once Upon A Time ( Mr Gold, there was something sexy about that man!) 

I mean the list is endless, do I need to go on?

Actually who remembers the channel Trouble that used to be on cable and Sky?

 Back in the day that was my channel, actually if it was still here today it would still be my channel (ma main chick). That channel WAS my life until they got rid of it and left me with BET which is limited in every way possible in comparison to America! (How do I only get the edited version of the BET AWARDS, the Soul Train Awards, the Hip Hop Awards, basically every award show! I mean thats just plain stupid. This year y'all cut of Tyrese singing! I was not impressed, but let me stop here coz I'm getting REAAAAL heated right now!!!!!)

ANYWAY, the main reason for this rant is that I just want some more LaToya is ma lifeee....

Those Times When Your Hungry and You Ain't Got No Food!

Wassup Dreamers?

As of right now I am sitting in my room with Persons of Interest in the background, attempting to do some useless 'uni work' and I am dead hungry.

Like you know when you get the munchies, and you just want some chocolate or something to tie you over til the morning? Well that is me right now.

The worst thing is I don't have any snacks. This is the exact reason why I hate being a student because I ain't got no money, which means I gotta budget, which means snacks are non existent in my life right now.

I wanna go home! There's food there!

My uni mates just don't understand though! They're like oh well at least you won't be putting on any weight...

Errrrr.....

 HELLOOOO I PUT ON WEIGHT FROM JUST LOOKING A FOOD! 

So do you honestly think I care about calories when I'm in this frame of mind.

Someone pass me a Jammy Dodger, I want it NOW!

Am I undateable? #TeamForeverAlone :'(

For those who are single do you Dreamers ever feel alone or constantly surrounded by cute couples.

It never really bothered me about having a boyfriend until I reached the age of 16. During secondary school the majority of everyone around me had boyfriends except my group of friends so I guess at the time I didn't think much of it but it still bothered me (then again I did go to an all girls school but still...). I suppose the older I got the more it bothered me and now being at university it is all I can think about. 

It's not that I choose to constantly think about being single, it's just that I'm surrounded by couples 24/7! (I actually live with 2 couples :(  Happy couples to be exact!). There are days sometimes even weeks I go without thinking about being single, but then something reminds me that I'm alone and it honestly makes a little sad. It's weird though because my best friend is single like me but I don't think being single affects her as much as me, simply because she can go to uni and see couples but then when she goes home she doesn't have to hear or see couples being all mushy and all lovey dovey with each other (lucky her). 

I can honestly say I am jealous of my flatmates in relationships. They have someone to talk to besides their family members and friends. They get to spend time with the people who make them happy and are loved for the way they are and look. It honestly makes me think that there's something wrong with the way I look and I think having braces, and my 'currently in need of a perm' hair isn't helping right now. I do think that one of the main reasons as to why I don't have a boyfriend, or have guys attempt to talk to me is because of my size. I feel like they just can't deal with alllll of thisss (#MyWifeandKids Jay Style).

 I have days where I feel and look fly and I can tell from the expression on guy faces but they never try to pursue me at all, they don't even bother!

BUT!!! That's just one of my many theories. I have a superpower Dreamers.... I have the ability to drive guys away but acting weird around them. I kind of push them away or make them regret double looking me, for example; when I walk pass a guy I begin to panic and will make an ugly face! You know that you're ruining your own chances when you mum questions you as to why you always make those weird faces or tells you to smile more! I don't know why I do this. I blame going to an all girls school, even though I loved it until it got taken over by Harris Academy the worst thing that could EVER possibly happen?!? How is Harris going to get rid of the mainstream teachers during my last year of A Levels? How am I going to be taught by teachers that are 2-3 years older than me, Harris please.. I could teach myself the syllabus as they were practically learning it as we went along in the last 2-3 months of my A Levels! Anyway that's not even relevant to this blog but jheeze I needed to vent that.

I honestly feel like I'm going to end up finding someone on a dating website, because the only people that actually notice my presence and wanna try be all over me are, crusty, old, near death African and Jamaican men. I find it to be actually insulting.

I have to admit though I feel like that if I were to be in a relationship I would be pretty selfish or they would find me annoying because I like 'my time'. I enjoy spending time alone, listening to music and being with my own thoughts, so I'm sure that's one of the reasons I'm alone, single and sad. 

So my Dreamers this is how I feel most days. Have any of you felt or thought this way before?

Charlize Glass - I absolutely love her!

Now I know this video is a month old but I am seriously fascinated by this girl. 12 years of age and she dances like a grown woman I actually adore her! #Thathairthough

(She's on the right)

Enjoy Dreamers

xx

Don't You Just Want To Live The Rich Life

Honestly this is what I think about all the time. Forget studying for my degree or thinking about what's for dinner, all I think about is living the rich life!

Sometimes I think that I must be the only one in the world who sits on their bed, daydreaming about what their life would be like if they were rich for hours.

This might sound crazy but I have many versions of ways that I can become rich that would lead me to be famous.

1. I think that I am going to marry a celebrity *cough cough* Trey Songz *cough cough* and that were gonna fall in love, the celebrity world will notice me, love me and BAM I'll be rich AND famous! (A double whammy) Clearly this is just absurd and I'm most definitely sure this will never ever happen, but hey a girl can dream.

2. Magically I believe I'm going to live in LA and own a cafe on one side of the high-street, and have a restaurant directly opposite called 'Ambers' (vain much is what you’re thinking but I don't care duh) which will be extremely successful! Have wonderful staff, regular customers and be bringing in the moneeey *ka-ching*. Then miraculously I will start catering events for MTV or BET getting my public debut on, mingling with celebs etc. THEN after MTV or BET sings my praises Trey Songz walks into my cafe and our relationship blooms from there if you get what I mean ;p

(Bearing in mind that I have no I dead of how I'm going to get to LA or have the money to set up my businesses but you know.... #Dreamer #FantasyLife

3. Now with this dream there is absolutely no way in hell this could happen unless I switched souls and bodies with a talented person. This is where I believe once again I will be living in America, but this time I have Beyonce's voice which means Beyonce will not exist in this world in order for me to become the next big thing in music. So I will have Beyonce's voice, her body and be on the prowl to being discovered. Long story short I am discovered! I am loved by all, hated by many and will be stinking rich; buying shares, developing my business ideas, performing on stage, selling music, shopping, basically looking fly all the time doing what I want how I want.

So there is just a brief list of the crazy things I dream about during my lectures..... but trust me there are sooo many more.

Even though all of my dreams lead me to be rich and famous, the question is if I was rich would I necessarily be famous? I think the realistic answer would probably be no but there is always that common link between being rich AND famous, why is that? It then leads me to question whether I would also need intelligence to become famous?

Does Rich + Intelligence = Fame? 

Well dreamer Amber thinks no because I would just buy the things/people I would need to help me stay rich and help me to become famous, where as realistic Amber thinks both yes and no because if I were rich I would most likely want to stay rich without people trying to con me out of my money, but then again it could all come down to luck if I were to end up famous.

What do my dreamers think?

Does this make any sense to you? Do my dreamers think I'm crazy? If so this is just the beginning :D

xx