Am I A Third Wheel Though?

Just like the title says Am I A Third Wheel??

So a few weeks back one of my flatmates invited another flatmate and I to their concert.

So of course I was excited and happy they wanted me to watch their work.

However, the week before the flatmate I was suppose to be going with says to me "By the way I'm bringing ...". So obviously I was like OK but is that going to be awkward because if your going to get all lovey dovey I will leave.

So the night of the concert ... came over and we were like hi, what you studying blah blah blah. That was fine but it was semi awkward coz it was clear that I was the +1 when really ... was, but my flatmate swears blind that we all looked like friends..... yeah right!

But before all of this when this same flatmate and I first moved in and getting to know each other we were like we are deffo going out for Halloween. Since that day I have been over excited because I've never been out on the night of Halloween etc. Anyway later on through the weeks, my flatmate was like "Oh by the way (her favourite phrase) one of my family members are coming down that week to go out with us". That I was cool with, so I'm thinking more girls yasssss. The week before Halloween my flatmate then said "Oh yeah and ... is coming Friday too).

....

.......

......................

I don't know why but that makes me feel very weird. I feel like I'm the +1 even though it's a group because I'm really the outsider if you think about it. My flatmate has their family member, and ... and then there's just me. So I feel kind of weird. I'm not sure if I'm suppose to feel weird.

So now were all going out.

If I feel weird I will straight up leave, but if I like the music I will dance with myself. My flatemate is lucky they are the only ones going out in this whole flat otherwise I would be goneeee!

Am I starting University Over Again?

So I have 5 Assessments to prepare for....

3 due in before Christmas and 2 after Christmas :(

Right now I honestly feel lost. I've had six months off and coming back to write these essays makes me feel like I'm just coming from my A Levels into Uni.

I just don't know where to start, and I have even less motivation than I did when I started the degree. I think the pressure of needing to get REALLY good grades for my second year is mentally shutting me down.

I feel like I'm in this constant cycle of doing nothing. Like world issues don't interest me, conversations with people don't interest with me, literally nothing interests me nowadays. I just want to hang out and have fun with endless money, with no responsibilities.

Although I do feel like everyone around me is doing much better than me. Like my bestie is getting all these great opportunities, and I just feel like crap. I can't lie I'm seriously jealous of her motivation and determination to achieve the best out of her time at Uni, but jheeeze I just feel like I'm useless.

As for this work I'm about to start, Lord please help me. Someone help me.....

@YouTube adverts annoy me!

I cannot stand adverts that stop me from watching my YouTube videos.

I do not log on to YouTube to watch minutes worth of adverts, and to make it worse there is an increasing amount of adverts that do not give me the skip option. What is that about?

Now lets get real, I love Zoella BUT her adverts on YouTube annoy me sooooo much I want to slap myself! "Hi it's Zoella..." "Hi guys I'm going to hide behind my pillow..." Honestly, right now I could care less.

I'm tryna catch up on my Timothy Delaghetto vlogs coz I've been busy and every single video I click on I hear "For a new feeling of cleanliness Gerberit Aqua clean. WC that cleans you with water..."... WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?!?

Is it me or when your waiting impatiently that these stupid adverts are the longest thing ever in life right now. The mute button is gradually becoming my new best friend because I just cant deal. It's the only thing YouTube seems to be doing right, right now!

Now I love music, and for some strange reason I stayed up til 3 listening to old skool r&b, garage, a little bit of Oasis, some Daniel Bedingfield, So Solid Crew, Aaliyah, basically all the music I grew up listening to and my hard work and dedication was persistently interrupted by "For a new feeling of cleanliness..."

Honestly YouTube needs to consult the companies they give permission to, because for me it is soo useless. I don't care about 'Fanta Zombie' or the new movie 'Horns'. How many stinking times am I going to re-watch these adverts over and over and over again!

How many of you enjoy making playlists on YouTube and enjoy playing it out loud? Well before YouTube was ambushed by REPEATED adverts I used to love doing that. Now I don't even bother!

How many of you does this happen to? Honestly comment below and let me know;

You are enjoying your playlists, choon after choon is playing and then the next thing you here is "Hi It's Zoella...". Now for a second I had to stop and think whether that was a song, because if it was I knew that wouldn't be in my playlist, until you check and realise it's an irrelevant advert to your life right now as YOUR TRYING TO LISTEN TO YOUR MUSIC!

If I had a pound, not a penny but a POUND every time I was/am forced to watch one of these stupid adverts I would be so rich right now. Actually I would pay YouTube to stop with these adverts when I'm tryna have some ME TIME!
(Check it out, it's funny, it's MADEA)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKGdRgV66R0

If your reading this YouTube you need to fix up! It's not cute anymore! I'm slowly beginning to hate you....

Don't you just hate it when people forget about plans THEY made with you?!? KMT

Hey Dreamers,

I'm just so annoyed right now! Like why is it when you make plans with people they seem to forget? I made plans with my flatmate, we didn't specify a time but it was basically like "knock on my door at ANYTIME" Notice the word anytime is in capitals. 

So because my flatmate said ANYTIME I knocked on their door mid afternoon. I was basically standing at the door like... (you only need to for watch 10 seconds lol)

Which then after 2 minutes of waiting for a response it turned into... (only watch for 6 seconds)

After that I was just pissed off.

SO I checked my inbox from my flatmate just to make sure he didn't send me a text saying he wasn't going to be home, so we have to change our plans... *checks phone* Nope no text message for today!

So I text my flatmate and the reply I got was "Im at the gym :l"

Why the hell are you at the GYM when we had PLANS?!? 

This really bugged me, to be honest when people forget about or cancel our plans at the last minute that ticks me off!! 

So the moral of the story is; Make sure you have a back up, a Plan B just in case people forget about your plans. Getting me all excited and ting KMT!!

Do that to me again and watch!

How I Been Feeling

Hey Dreamers

Honestly today I feel sooo anti-social, like I just don't care. So in order to express myself here are a few pictures of what I'm thinking/feeling.

Comment below if you ever get like this!

@latoyaforever - LaToya's Life come back to me pleaseee

Hey Dreamers, just a quick question. How many of you Hunty's are LaToyaForever fans?
Because I am such a huge fan of hers.

If you are reading this LaToya, Congrats on baby Samia!

I watched your whole journey Hunttttty, OKAYY

I honestly think I'm her soul mate, like honestly I think she's hilariously crazy but I have an issue. I selfishly want her to vlog her life being a mum to Samia. I know she's a new mum and needs a break but damn I'm experiencing withdrawal symptoms!

It's only been 7 days since her labour and delivery vlog (exactly... I counted...) and I feel lost.

If anyone else feels like this please leave a comment, because I need to know I'm not the only crazy one.

Actually, you know what this feels like? It feels like when your favourite TV show is cancelled, or your waiting for the new series to come back and your really eager, and your mad because you can't watch it right now? Well that's how I FEEL!

So along with waiting for LaToya's Life season 2 I am impatiently waiting for;

1. Game of Thrones (I love Kit Harington, oh God what a sexy man) 
   
2. Devious Maids (I only like Rosie and Carmen)
3. Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 7 ( I love me some Nene and Kandi! I wonder what the newbie is gonna be like, hmmm...)
4. Real Housewives of New York Season 7 (ONLY because I love Bethenny!  RHONY was nothing without her!! Jill Zarin feel free to come back too boo! Andy Cohen you need to fix this!)

HELL I'M WAITING TO FIND OUT WHO KILLED LUCY IN EASTENDERS

It's driving me crazy! But you know what, I suppose it isn't that bad because at least LaToya is coming back unlike;

1. Friends
2. Charmed
3. Desperate Housewives 
4. One on One 
5. EVE
6. My Wife and Kids 
7. Fresh Prince of Bel - Air (R.I.P Uncle Phil)
8. All of Us
9. That So Raven
10. Once Upon A Time ( Mr Gold, there was something sexy about that man!) 

I mean the list is endless, do I need to go on?

Actually who remembers the channel Trouble that used to be on cable and Sky?

 Back in the day that was my channel, actually if it was still here today it would still be my channel (ma main chick). That channel WAS my life until they got rid of it and left me with BET which is limited in every way possible in comparison to America! (How do I only get the edited version of the BET AWARDS, the Soul Train Awards, the Hip Hop Awards, basically every award show! I mean thats just plain stupid. This year y'all cut of Tyrese singing! I was not impressed, but let me stop here coz I'm getting REAAAAL heated right now!!!!!)

ANYWAY, the main reason for this rant is that I just want some more LaToya is ma lifeee....

Those Times When Your Hungry and You Ain't Got No Food!

Wassup Dreamers?

As of right now I am sitting in my room with Persons of Interest in the background, attempting to do some useless 'uni work' and I am dead hungry.

Like you know when you get the munchies, and you just want some chocolate or something to tie you over til the morning? Well that is me right now.

The worst thing is I don't have any snacks. This is the exact reason why I hate being a student because I ain't got no money, which means I gotta budget, which means snacks are non existent in my life right now.

I wanna go home! There's food there!

My uni mates just don't understand though! They're like oh well at least you won't be putting on any weight...

Errrrr.....

 HELLOOOO I PUT ON WEIGHT FROM JUST LOOKING A FOOD! 

So do you honestly think I care about calories when I'm in this frame of mind.

Someone pass me a Jammy Dodger, I want it NOW!

Am I undateable? #TeamForeverAlone :'(

For those who are single do you Dreamers ever feel alone or constantly surrounded by cute couples.

It never really bothered me about having a boyfriend until I reached the age of 16. During secondary school the majority of everyone around me had boyfriends except my group of friends so I guess at the time I didn't think much of it but it still bothered me (then again I did go to an all girls school but still...). I suppose the older I got the more it bothered me and now being at university it is all I can think about. 

It's not that I choose to constantly think about being single, it's just that I'm surrounded by couples 24/7! (I actually live with 2 couples :(  Happy couples to be exact!). There are days sometimes even weeks I go without thinking about being single, but then something reminds me that I'm alone and it honestly makes a little sad. It's weird though because my best friend is single like me but I don't think being single affects her as much as me, simply because she can go to uni and see couples but then when she goes home she doesn't have to hear or see couples being all mushy and all lovey dovey with each other (lucky her). 

I can honestly say I am jealous of my flatmates in relationships. They have someone to talk to besides their family members and friends. They get to spend time with the people who make them happy and are loved for the way they are and look. It honestly makes me think that there's something wrong with the way I look and I think having braces, and my 'currently in need of a perm' hair isn't helping right now. I do think that one of the main reasons as to why I don't have a boyfriend, or have guys attempt to talk to me is because of my size. I feel like they just can't deal with alllll of thisss (#MyWifeandKids Jay Style).

 I have days where I feel and look fly and I can tell from the expression on guy faces but they never try to pursue me at all, they don't even bother!

BUT!!! That's just one of my many theories. I have a superpower Dreamers.... I have the ability to drive guys away but acting weird around them. I kind of push them away or make them regret double looking me, for example; when I walk pass a guy I begin to panic and will make an ugly face! You know that you're ruining your own chances when you mum questions you as to why you always make those weird faces or tells you to smile more! I don't know why I do this. I blame going to an all girls school, even though I loved it until it got taken over by Harris Academy the worst thing that could EVER possibly happen?!? How is Harris going to get rid of the mainstream teachers during my last year of A Levels? How am I going to be taught by teachers that are 2-3 years older than me, Harris please.. I could teach myself the syllabus as they were practically learning it as we went along in the last 2-3 months of my A Levels! Anyway that's not even relevant to this blog but jheeze I needed to vent that.

I honestly feel like I'm going to end up finding someone on a dating website, because the only people that actually notice my presence and wanna try be all over me are, crusty, old, near death African and Jamaican men. I find it to be actually insulting.

I have to admit though I feel like that if I were to be in a relationship I would be pretty selfish or they would find me annoying because I like 'my time'. I enjoy spending time alone, listening to music and being with my own thoughts, so I'm sure that's one of the reasons I'm alone, single and sad. 

So my Dreamers this is how I feel most days. Have any of you felt or thought this way before?

Charlize Glass - I absolutely love her!

Now I know this video is a month old but I am seriously fascinated by this girl. 12 years of age and she dances like a grown woman I actually adore her! #Thathairthough

(She's on the right)

Enjoy Dreamers

xx

Don't You Just Want To Live The Rich Life

Honestly this is what I think about all the time. Forget studying for my degree or thinking about what's for dinner, all I think about is living the rich life!

Sometimes I think that I must be the only one in the world who sits on their bed, daydreaming about what their life would be like if they were rich for hours.

This might sound crazy but I have many versions of ways that I can become rich that would lead me to be famous.

1. I think that I am going to marry a celebrity *cough cough* Trey Songz *cough cough* and that were gonna fall in love, the celebrity world will notice me, love me and BAM I'll be rich AND famous! (A double whammy) Clearly this is just absurd and I'm most definitely sure this will never ever happen, but hey a girl can dream.

2. Magically I believe I'm going to live in LA and own a cafe on one side of the high-street, and have a restaurant directly opposite called 'Ambers' (vain much is what you’re thinking but I don't care duh) which will be extremely successful! Have wonderful staff, regular customers and be bringing in the moneeey *ka-ching*. Then miraculously I will start catering events for MTV or BET getting my public debut on, mingling with celebs etc. THEN after MTV or BET sings my praises Trey Songz walks into my cafe and our relationship blooms from there if you get what I mean ;p

(Bearing in mind that I have no I dead of how I'm going to get to LA or have the money to set up my businesses but you know.... #Dreamer #FantasyLife

3. Now with this dream there is absolutely no way in hell this could happen unless I switched souls and bodies with a talented person. This is where I believe once again I will be living in America, but this time I have Beyonce's voice which means Beyonce will not exist in this world in order for me to become the next big thing in music. So I will have Beyonce's voice, her body and be on the prowl to being discovered. Long story short I am discovered! I am loved by all, hated by many and will be stinking rich; buying shares, developing my business ideas, performing on stage, selling music, shopping, basically looking fly all the time doing what I want how I want.

So there is just a brief list of the crazy things I dream about during my lectures..... but trust me there are sooo many more.

Even though all of my dreams lead me to be rich and famous, the question is if I was rich would I necessarily be famous? I think the realistic answer would probably be no but there is always that common link between being rich AND famous, why is that? It then leads me to question whether I would also need intelligence to become famous?

Does Rich + Intelligence = Fame? 

Well dreamer Amber thinks no because I would just buy the things/people I would need to help me stay rich and help me to become famous, where as realistic Amber thinks both yes and no because if I were rich I would most likely want to stay rich without people trying to con me out of my money, but then again it could all come down to luck if I were to end up famous.

What do my dreamers think?

Does this make any sense to you? Do my dreamers think I'm crazy? If so this is just the beginning :D

xx